Addendum

I got a haircut today at the mall. The woman asked me what I wanted and I said, "Just clean it up a little bit. Not too much shorter. I got it cut about a month ago, six weeks ago."

She said, "So, just like it is, but shorter."

"Sure," I said.

I should have known. "Just like it is, but shorter" was my instruction to anyone who cut my hair from when I was about 10 until I was 18. It is a command that one gives when one wants the same haircut that the stylist has given every boy -- regardless of age, appearance or style -- that he or she has ever seen. It's the hairstyle I had in middle school, it's the hairstyle I had in high school, and it's the hair style I have right now as I'm writing this.

Short on the back and sides.

Long on top.

Sideburns optional.

She even took the time after the haircut was over to get out some gel and try to get the front of my hair to stick up like Lance Bass' hair used to.

Congratulations, Howard County. You had made me feel 14, and now you've made me look 14. Perfect.

Okay, so there are worse things, but it just seems to perfectly... appropriate to the experience of the last three days.